I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
