the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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