just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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