So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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