i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
