I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
