using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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