Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
