She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He better not be in your backpack
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
