you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize