dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
