So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
