she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
this beer tastes like vomit already
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
