when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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