Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
