so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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