hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
