Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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