He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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