we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
