it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize