oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
