Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
