We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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