Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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