Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
