THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
