New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
