So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize