so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
