I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
