Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
