I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
