Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
