i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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