I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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