The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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