Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize