just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize