I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
