His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
