Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
