woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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