I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
