But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
