just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
