YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
