i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
