my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
