think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
