Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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