I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
