my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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