on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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