Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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