Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
