It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
