Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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