Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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