She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
