take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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